Dear Women, Don't Apologize For Doing Your Job!

3/9/2015

Ideally, gender should not dictate behavior or perception of working professionals, as all are sufficiently qualified to be in their positions. However, the social patterns of "uptalk" and its associated broader behaviors are allocated to women in the workplace. This means that the body language and speech patterns of women indicate a lower level of confidence. The trouble with uptalk is that it manifests itself in small, almost unnoticeable ways. According to Senator Kirsten Gillibrand, this behavior is part of a woman's "nature", however, women can and should actively strive to change their actions and replace them with more bold, assertive ones. Here are some confidence building changes that can make a huge difference in your professional and everyday life!

1) Stop undermining your success
Women, when praised for success, have a tendency to brush off compliments instead of taking pride in their accolades. For example, Lena Dunham, mostly known for her HBO show Girls, recently landed a $3.7 million book deal with Random House. In a tweet announcing the news, she thanked every party involved and did not attribute any of her work and success to her own talent and efforts. Everyone deserves to enjoy and celebrate his or her success!

2) Stop apologizing for intelligence
In work meetings, presentations, and client meetings, women self-check and adjust their language according to stereotypes and perceptions, often "dumbing themselves down." Another issue is women questioning their qualifications when applying for a new position. Remember that you are more than fit for your job and there is no need to appear any less or more capable than you are!

3) Stop using these undermining phrases

"Does that make sense?" / "Do you know what I mean?" - This question may seem benign, but it indicates that your delivery was lacking or incoherent. Replace this with "Any thoughts?" or "Let me know if you have questions!"
"Kind of" / "Almost" - These words are often used when the speaker means to tread lightly or when the speaker is a little uncertain, but they only undermine the speaker's idea.
"Just" - This pesky little filler word is used to make the speaker sound less assertive, but it comes off as the speaker being defensive.